Prometheus secret

Prometheus · 2010-05-26, 4:36

Yes, I do have a secret. But I don't want to keep that secret for myself any longer, because it really stops me from developing and I'm tired of constantly trying to hide it from the world and trying to sort up the mess I create all the time.

Man!!! This is difficult for me, but I will try nevertheless!!!!

OK, here it goes: I have a serious mental disorder. Yes, that's right. Maybe you didn't suspect, because I'm quite good at hiding it.

Now, "having a serious mental disorder" doesn't necessarily mean that I'm 100% **** up in the head, as in constantly-carrying-around-a-chain-saw-trying-to-kill-cute-kittens kind of **** up. But it does mean that I do have some serious issues that are really difficult to deal with, and can't just be easily solved by mere cognitive therapy.

So why am I telling this? Because I have mistreated lots of people during the years, and some of those people are found here at spacesynth.net. It's hard for me to return here -- and continue to stay -- without being open and honest about this matter once and for all.

A little practical problem today is that I have written many things as "Prometheus" here at spacesynth.net during the years, both in public and in private messages, that I don't necessarily would stand for in the daylight of sanity. Actually, I need to distance myself from that social image of who Prometheus is, does or stands for. That's the reason why I, when I recently tried to slowly get back into one of my passions in life (spacesynth), even felt the needs to register under a different username.

Now if anybody really thinks that I'm rotten to the bone, or that I am some kind of fake personality who manipulates and maliciously plays with other people, then I really can't make any arguments to prove that you're wrong. Because, in a sense I am a split person, a fake personality on public display. I have done many strange things to many people under many years. But what's important for me is that I don't want to continue doing such things.

Maybe I've completely destroyed "Prometheus" by writing this. Maybe some of you will now start thinking "oh, that crazy schizo freak, better not deal with him at all". But I really can't deal with the silence of other people, so I would appreciate if you wanted to throw some sort of comment on this personal confession in this thread. Be it a stone, a rotten fruit or a nice cookie or whatever.

My real motive for hanging around this site at all is this: I want to learn how to make good spacesynth music and then learn how to feel comfortable about exposing that music to the world. You may think that's a simple thing to do, but for me it's not. Maybe I won't ever be able to do it.

But if it's OK with you, I'll stick around and try to make some music, and if I'm lucky maybe even find somebody who would like to create spacesynth together with me.
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Eppur si muove

ST Arts · 2010-05-26, 6:13

Welcome back Prometheus!

I appreciate your honesty and I am personally very glad you came back (as a person and brilliant musician). So, no hard feelings from my point of view at all about the JGL thing etc.. it is all OK.

By the way, we still have one unfinished project, maybe we will get back to it someday? Wink

Saul
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everdunemusic.com

Neuton Mouse · 2010-05-26, 6:27

Hi Prometheus!

Glad to see you here again.
It doesn't matter who we are, it really matters what we do. And i/anybody don't see here lying cute kitties slayed by Prometheus Very Happy

, or whatever there might be - so, i don't see a problem.

Come back, relax, hang with ss.net community and make music. (I'm still waiting for that DICE tune "coop3.mp3").

TD Mak · 2010-05-26, 7:12

Hey Prometheus, welcome back! Thank you for your honesty, especially given the amount of effort it sounds like it took you to do it. My feeling is that most of the posts you've made in the past have been quite thoughtful and interesting, and you do make fantastic music, well worth developing and sharing. Sometimes the best artists are the ones who are a little wonky. Smile

I have friends who have or have had mental illnesses, but they're still very cool people, and I would think likewise for you.
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"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." ~ Groucho Marx

LauriT · 2010-05-26, 7:54

Nice to have you back, Prometheus. Always thought that your posts were interesting to read.

edit: And hoping to hear some new music from you as well.
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faroutmusic.net | soundcloud.com/dreamtime-music

Digimax · 2010-05-26, 7:56

Hello Prometheus!!!

It's a very pleasant surprise to see you here again. I'm a very big fan of your music and it was very sad to see you leave a while back. So welcome back and hopefully you'll be here with us for a very long time.

Miguel

Peter D · 2010-05-26, 13:42

Hi Prometheus,

I commend you on openess and honesty and I wish you all the best.
I've always found your posts very insightful as well as philosophical - and that's great!

I really hope you continue with Spacesynth, I think you offer a diifferent approach to this genre which is an added dimension.

Best Regards

Peter D
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www.spacesoundrecords.com

SX001 · 2010-05-26, 13:48

I accept apologies.

Prometheus · 2010-05-26, 15:29

SX001 · 2010-05-26, 16:27

Brave is the one who can tell it out / accept / handle it atleast,

Who else has similar problems? Rise your left foot.

A.